14 reasons you are too busy:
1. You are wasting time on the internet/tv.
2. You sleep too much.
3. You spend time trying to convert frenemies. Absolute waste.
4. You don't know how to say no.
5. You crave power and influence and wealth and try to keep up with the Jones'.
6. You find downtime leaves you with nothing but yourself, and you don't like you.
7. You are in love with your Facebook profile.
8. You write lists that sum things up in 14 succinct points. What other word has 3 Cs in it? If you think about that too long, you're wasting time.
9. You read number nine!
10. You procrastinate.
11. You justify your procrastination with self-publishing on a blog.
12. You read semi-historical fiction novels then write fan fiction on minor fictional characters, giving them depth and substance. Wait, that might make you some dough. I'd scratch out this line but that would waste my time.
13. You didn't maximize your earning potential with quality choices early in life and now blame others for your misfortune while singing bad karaoke in your local dive bar.
14. You can't count past fourteen, which is absolute hell on birthdays.