Friday, December 11, 2009

Unemployed? No problem!

If you're unemployed or fearing you're about to be, don't worry - Mama government is here to help you. Now you can be on unemployment for up to 99 weeks. Isn't that swell? You could take the time to clean the backyard, go on a staycation, or just stay up all night watching Nickelodeon. Who cares?

When I was a young man without much in the way of money, fame, good looks, friends, fame, money, family support, money, people that liked me, a useful degree, good looks, fame, or money, you know what I did when I got fired or layed-off from one of my non-unionized, uninsured, abusive-boss jobs?

I WENT OUT AND GOT ANOTHER ONE. WHATEVER JOB I COULD FIND. I have never been on unemployment, food stamps, handouts, or whatever. I did stay at my father's house for a year while down on my luck in my mid-20s (and was thankful to stay there for the time), but even then I worked two jobs to save up and get back on my feet. He paid me about $6 an hour for warehousing & deliveries, and my other jobs paid between 8 and 10 bucks per hour.

NOTHING LIKE THE FEAR OF BEING PENNILESS AND ON THE STREET ON YOUR OWN TO GET SOME PEOPLE INTO THE WORKFORCE. Go to any mall, fast food joint, restaurant, call center, or other places that don't require much in the way of technical skill. Think you can find a job? I bet you a million dollars there is a job in your town you could walk into tomorrow! Want to take me up on the bet? Send your gold equivalent to my house and I'll hold onto it while you look for work! Ha! Fooled you! I will take your gold and run away!

Ha! Fooled you again! I wouldn't do that because it would be unethical!

I realize it might be unbecoming for a former exec or technical expert of a now defunct start-up to work at Burger King or Road House as a prep cook, but my man, since you blew all your income on high priced dance clubs, vacation condos, and Ferraris when life was good, whose fault is this when you get down to it?

Do you feel demeaned, marginalized, or embarrassed to be a college-educated 40-50 year old, working next to 18-year old stoner kids who think foreign policy is something you can catch a venereal disease from? Does it bother you when they laugh at the old guy? Are you too good for this sort of thing?

Tales of your exploits sailing to the Galapagos Islands to poach baby seals are not going to put food on your table.

Are you going to have to downsize your life? Is that dream of owning your own home, and a vacation home, and one for your mistress over? It sure is!


Wake up to the new world my friends. Want to hold out for that super-duper executive position you're highly qualified for? Go for it! I'll see you in the Soup Kitchen line!

My sympathy is running dry. Get a job. Get any job. Ideally a high paying government job (they can pay more, since they can also make the money, and the rules, and then change them, and then take your stuff, and then change the rules again). Make a new job for yourself. Do something besides sit around and think you deserve better than this.

You don't deserve anything but what you make or do for yourself.

Stop the insanity! Our expected Federal deficit next year is 1.2 trillion. $98 billion of that is going to unemployment extensions.

A trillion dollars is 1,000 billion. A billion dollars is 1,000 million.

That is 1,200,000 million. Or 1.2 million million dollars.



Boz said...

You carry the torch well, my friend.

Boz said...

And one more thing, jobs a plenty with the feds, grab somadat federal gubmint cheeze! They pay well these days.

martygaal said...

Thanks Boz. Wow, the info in that link it out of control. Quote:

"Federal employees making salaries of $100,000 or more jumped from 14% to 19% of civil servants during the recession's first 18 months — and that's before overtime pay and bonuses are counted.

Federal workers are enjoying an extraordinary boom time — in pay and hiring — during a recession that has cost 7.3 million jobs in the private sector.

Defense Department civilian employees earning $150,000 or more increased from 1,868 in December 2007 to 10,100 in June 2009, the most recent figure available.

When the recession started, the Transportation Department had only one person earning a salary of $170,000 or more. Eighteen months later, 1,690 employees had salaries above $170,000.

The growth in six-figure salaries has pushed the average federal worker's pay to $71,206, compared with $40,331 in the private sector."

Cody's Tri Blog said...

Yes, I agree, earlier this year, I lost my job. this is the 3rd time in my career that has happened. Each time I did exactly what Marty said " I went and got another job. This year I had more time to deal with the situation. Why... Because Delane and I do not live beyond our means, instead we have a house that is paid for and no debt, yes no debt, no I did not inherent a dime nor was I given anything. I was also very lucky that I had a lot of vacation and sick time saved up and I was given one week for each of the 7 years I worked at Duke. When all that was done and I had no job, I could have easily collected unemployment, but I instead started a company, booked my first client and started working for myself. I have absolutely no sympathy for people who think they deserve a "good" job. Get off your ass and work and good things will come your way. Th American dream was built on "capitalism" and the individual, not socialism and group think. Amen Marty! Nice post!

Anonymous said...

Hey, Marty! Let's not start knocking how much Defense civilians take home. :-) Actually, in the DC locality, the locality based pay is really, really high which makes a lot of salaries 6 figures.

But I understand your point. If you are unemployed, go get a job!

Steve said...

There are going to be plenty of people who will hate the unemployed for being unemployed. Most of them will listen to Glenn Beck. You are better than that.

Get angry at those who caused the problem. Unemployed people didn't cause the problem.

I am employed, but I am more sympathetic to the unemployed than I am with the TARP recipients.

martygaal said...


Been angry with the people who caused the problem for quite a while. Nor do I lack sympathy for folks hit hard due to the systemic problems caused by the excesses and abuses of the fed/govt/banks/fiat currency/real estate bubbles/etc. But I don't have ANY sympathy for folks who opt for continued victim-hood (the easy way out) over self-improvement and self-awareness (a much tougher road).

My DC friends - you are working and investing, and while I can't say I approve of the continued expansion of the federal govt (we will soon all work for them, or perhaps The State), I can't blame you for getting while the getting is good! :)

martygaal said...

Cody, you give me hope for the future!

Boz said...

Starting to see change I can believe in....

Cody said...

There is one other thing to consider... Everyone pays into the unemployment pool and companies pay as well. Therefore, I do not see anything wrong with drawing unemployment if you truly need to. However, I do not think that is the point Marty was trying to make.