Friday, January 16, 2009

Geithner to take your back taxes

Timothy Geithner, Obama's nominee for Treasury Secretary, has vowed to make everyone in the US pay their taxes in a concerted effort to shore up the balance sheets of the Federal Government. It is estimated that tax dodgers cost the US approximately 200 billion dollars each year in lost revenue.

"It is criminal that individuals and small businesses around this great country have failed to uphold their duty as citizens, and pay their fair share of taxes," said Geithner, sipping leisurely on a Double mocha latte at a Manhattan Starbucks. "I mean, where do people think they live, Mexico? We have computers here."

He went on. "I mean, how hard is it to know how much you owe in taxes? If you want to do it yourself, you get one of those software packages and it walks you through it. It's dummy proof. Or you can pay your local accountant a few hundred and make sure you don't have any problems. With us. The US Government. Down the road. You know?"

Geithner, who has reigned supreme at the New York Fed for several years, continued. "When I'm Treasury Secretary, things are going to be different. We're going to tighten down on cheats like Wesley Snipes, and Billy Ray from West Virginia, and anyone else who fails to pay FICA or Social Security taxes, ignorant they may be of the law or not."

"The law doesn't care if you're ignorant," said Geithner.

He then finished his coffee, checked the time on his Gold Rolex, and signaled his driver it was time to leave.

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